Vatican City, 13 May 2015 (VIS) -
“Please, thank you and sorry” are the three words that Pope
Francis “would write on the door of every family home” as they
are the key to living well and in peace both inside and outside the
home. They are simple words, much easier to say than to put into
practice, but “they contain great strength: the strength of
protecting the home, even through a thousand difficulties and trials;
instead, when they are lacking, cracks gradually open up that can
even lead it to collapse”.
The Pope dedicated the catechesis of
today's general audience to these three words, normally considered as
the words of politeness. “A great bishop, St. Francis of Sales,
said that kindness is halfway to holiness. However, beware”, he
warned, “as in history we have also known a formalism of good
manners that can become a mask to conceal an arid heart and lack of
interest in others. … Not even religion is immune to this risk, in
which formal observance may slip into spiritual worldliness. The
devil who tempts Jesus shows off his good manners and cites the
Sacred Scriptures. His style appears correct, but his intention is to
deviate from the truth of God's love”.
The first word is “please. “To
enter into the life of another person, even when that person forms
part of our life, requires the delicacy of a non-intrusive attitude,
that renews trust and respect. Confidence, then, does not authorise
us to take everything for granted. Love, the more intimate and
profound it is, the more it demands respect for freedom and the
capacity to wait for the other to open the door of his or her heart”.
The second phrase is “thank you”.
“At times”, observed the Holy Father, “it seems that we are
becoming a civilisation of poor manners and unpleasant words. …
Politeness and the capacity to thank are seen as a sign of weakness,
and at times even arouse distrust. This tendency should be opposed
within the family itself. We must become intransigent in the
education of gratitude and recognition: the dignity of the person and
social justice both come from this. If this approach is neglected in
family life, it will also be lost in social life”.
The third word is “sorry”, as “when
it is lacking, small cracks become larger … to the point of
becoming deep trenches. It is not by chance that in the prayer taught
by Jesus, the Lord's prayer that summarises all the essential
questions for our life, we find the expression 'forgive us our
trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us'.
Acknowledging our errors and being willing to restore what has been
removed – respect, sincerity, love – makes one worthy of
forgiveness. … If we are not capable of apologising, it means we
are not capable of forgiveness either. … Many hurt feelings, many
lesions in the family begin with the loss of those precious words: 'I
am sorry'. In married life there are many arguments … but I advise
you never to let the day end without making peace. And for this, a
small gesture is enough”.
“These three key words for the family
are simple words, and perhaps at first they make us smile. But …
perhaps our education neglects them too much. May the Lord help us to
restore them to their rightful place in our heart, in our home, and
also in our civil co-existence”.
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