Vatican City, 27 May 2015 (VIS) –
Engagement, the time devoted to laying the groundwork for a project
of love taken on in full freedom and awareness, was the theme of Pope
Francis' catechesis during today's Wednesday general audience.
“Betrothal is, in other words, the
time in which two people are called to work on love, a shared and
profound task” as “the alliance of love between a man and a
woman, an alliance for life, cannot be improvised, and is not made in
a day; it is a path on which one learns and refines. … It is, I
dare say, an artisanal alliance. To make two lives one is almost a
miracle of freedom and of the heart, entrusted to faith. We must
perhaps work more on this point, as our 'sentimental coordinates'
have become a little confused. Those who wish to attain everything
immediately, also give up on everything straight away at the first
hurdle (or at the first opportunity). … Engagement channels the
will to preserve something together, something that should never be
bought or sold, betrayed or abandoned, however tempting the
alternatives may be”.
Francis recalled the Italian writer
Alessandro Manzoni's novel “I promessi sposi”, “The
Betrothed”, and invited those present to read it as it is “an
authentic masterpiece which recounts the story of a betrothed couple
who suffer greatly, who walk a path full of many difficulties before
arriving at the end, at marriage. Do not forget this masterpiece on
betrothal … read it and you will see beauty and suffering, but also
the faithfulness of the betrothed couple”.
“The Church, in her wisdom, maintains
the distinction between engaged and married couples – they are not
the same – precisely in view of the delicate and profound nature of
this fact. We are careful not to light-heartedly dismiss this wise
teaching, nurtured by the experience of happily married life. The
powerful symbols of the body hold the keys to the soul: we cannot
treat the bonds of the flesh lightly, without opening up lasting
wounds to the spirit”, continued the Holy Father, remarking that
“today's culture and society have become rather indifferent to the
delicate and serious nature of this passage. And on the other hand,
they cannot be said to be generous with the young, who seriously
intend to maintain a household and start a family. Rather, they set
up a thousand obstacles, mental and practical”.
Pre-matrimonial courses are a special
expression of preparation that offer engaged couples what may indeed
be the sole opportunity to “reflect on their experience in terms
that are not banal. Yes, many couples stay together for a long time,
also intimately, at times living together, without truly knowing each
other”, he observed. “Therefore there is a need to re-evaluate
engagement as a time to get to know each other and for sharing a
plan. … And focusing also here on the essential point: the Bible,
to be rediscovered together, in a conscious way; prayer, in its
liturgical dimension, but also in terms of 'domestic prayer' … in
the Sacraments … in which the Lord comes to reside in the betrothed
couple and prepares them to truly accept each other with the grace of
Christ; and fraternity with the poor, the needy, which leads us
towards sobriety and sharing. Couples who make this commitment both
grow, and all this leads to preparing a beautiful marriage celebrated
in a different way, not worldly but Christian”.
The Pope invited couples to reflect on
and repeat to each other the words of the prophet Hosea: “And I
will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in
righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will
betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord”.
“May every engaged couple think of this and say to each other, 'I
will make you my spouse'. Wait for that moment; it is a moment on a
path on which one proceeds slowly, a path of ripening. One must not
pass through the different stages too quickly. Ripening takes place
in this way, step by step”.
Therefore, “the time of betrothal
must truly be a time of initiation … in surprise at the spiritual
gifts that the Lord, through the Church, enriches the horizon of the
new family that he prepares to live in His blessing”.
Pope Francis concluded by asking the
thousands of faithful in St. Peter's Square to pray to the Holy
Family of Nazareth so that engaged couples may understand the beauty
of the path of preparation for lifelong marriage, and greeted couples
in the square by wishing them a happy engagement.
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